OFF: God Used the Unix to create Earth

Jerry stayer at PI.NET
Tue May 28 21:08:49 EDT 1996


=====================================================
In the begining there was the computer. And God sayd:

%Let there be light!
#Enter user id
%God
#Enter password.
%Omniscient
#password incorrect. Try again.
%Omnipotent
#Password incorrect. Try again.
%Technocrat
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
%Let there be light!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%Create light
#done
%run Heaven and Earth
#And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM sunday, March 1
#Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.
#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2
%Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light.
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
%Create firmament
#Done
%Run firmament
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 erros.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 Am, Monday, March 2.
#Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
%Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let dry
land appear and...
#Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
%Create dry land
#Done
%Run firmament
#And God divided the waters. And God ssaw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged of at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3
#Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4
%Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
#Unspecified type. Try again.
%Run sun_moon_stars
#done
#And God created the heavens. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4
#Approx funds remaining: $54.00

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5
%Create fish
#Done
%Create fowl
#Done
%Run fish, fowl
#And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that
creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl
after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5
#Approx funds remaining: $45.00

#And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6
%Create cattle
%Create creepy_things
#Done
%now let us make man in our image
#Unspecified type. Try again
%Create man
#Done
%Be fruitiful and multiply and replenish the Earth and subdue it and have
dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every
living thing that creepeth upon the Earth.
#Too many commands operands. Try again.
#run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 6 errors.
%Insert breath
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 5  errors
%Move man to Garden of Eden
#File Garden of Eden does not exist.
%Create Garden.edn
#Done
%Move man to Garden.edn
#Done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 4 errors
%Copy woman from man
#done
%Run multiplication
#Execution terminated. 3 errors
%Insert woman into man
#Illigal parameters. Try again.
%Insert man into woman
#Done
%Run Multiplication
#Execution terminated. 2 errors
%Create desire
#Done
%Run multiplication
#And God saw man and womanbeing frutiful and multipling in  Garden.edn
#Warning: no time limit on this run. 1 errors
%Create freewill
#Done
%Run freewill
#And God saw man and womanbeing frutiful and multipling in Garden.edn
#warning: no time limit in this run. 1 errors
%Undo desire
#Desire can not be undone once freewill is created
%Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and can not be destroyed
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
%Help
#Desire can not be undone once freewill is created
#freewill is an inaccessible file and can not be destroyed
#Enter replacement, cancel or ask for help
%Create tree of knowledge
#And God saw man and woman being frutiful and multipling in Garden.edn
#Warning: no time limit on this run. 1 errors
%Create good, evil
#Done
%Activate evil
#And God saw he had created shame
#Warning systen error in section E95.Man and woman not in Garden.edn
#1 errors
%Scan Garden.edn for man and woman
#Search failed
%Delete shame
#Shame can not be deleted once evil has been activated
%Destroy freewill
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and can not be destroyed
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help
%Stop
#Unrecognizable command. try again.
%Break
#Break
%Break
#ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL
USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE
MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
%create new world
#You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files
before new ones can be created
%Destroy Earth
#Destroy Earth: please confirm
#destroy Earth confirmed
#COMPUTER DOWN****
COMPUTER DOWN
SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
#And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM friday, March 6
#approx funds remaining: $0.00
=================================================

Jerry



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