worst guitar solos

[Torgo Sedler]

OK, now I'm just disgusted.

Look, we ALL have different musical tastes, and I think that is just great.
I like the fact that MY different musical tastes overlap with other people's
musical tastes, yet never TOTALLY. Different strokes for different folks,
variety is the spice of life, and all those other dog-eared and worn out
clichés.

I just read the 50 WORST GUITAR SOLOS OF ALL TIME, and I have to say, in all
honesty, that it was the single biggest piece of shit I ever had the
pleasure of reading. Here's the link if you have not yet had the opportunity
to sniff of this fetid lump, fresh off the business end of a warm and steamy
one..........

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/top/solos/

Why am I so creased about this? Do I think this writer is wrong about his
opinions? Of course not, everyone is entitled to whatever opinion they like
in my book. If he thinks these solos are horrible, hey that's just ducky
with me.

What makes me mad as it is obvious to me that this person has a beef with
just about every band under the sun. He states the solo by the band that he
has a problem with, and then proceeds to drag the mentioned band in general
through the slime and muck. So he thinks "Burnin' for you" has a shitty
guitar solo, well maybe it does. Who am I to say, I have trouble playing a
fucking kazoo and slide whistle. I'm about as musically adept as Stephen
Hawking in a body cast. But then he goes on to make each band look as bad as
he can. Well, if BOC, for example, is so untalented then why is "Don't fear
the reaper" not on the list as well. Whoops, can't name TWO songs by the
same band and still get 49 other kicks to the ball-bag in on 49 other bands.

I picture the writer as a bitter man of about 40 years old, still upset at
the entire music industry because the band he played in when he was 15 never
got picked up for a million dollar recording contract. Damn, he was sure
that "Sex Nation" would make it to the top of the charts once they changed
their name from "Pimp Slap (featuring Herman Menderchuk)". So now here is
with a chance to make every single band HE ever heard of look bad, and he's
jumping on the chance. It's like he went through all of his worn vinyl that
his Mom found in the basement when she was cleaning for the garage sale, and
decided he would finally get his licks in (no pun intended) on everyone that
ever made a dime by trying to please a fickle music buying public. "I'll
show them who can't play the guitar. I hate you, I hate you ALL!"

(sigh) I shouldn't even give it a second thought, but I feel like venting so
what the hell.

I half expected to read something like.........
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Sucky guitar solo #51- Robert Johnson- Cross Road Blues

Whoever told Robert Johnson he knew anything about the blues? His inane
pickings and string diddling is enough to make me want to plug my ears with
my own violently removed pinky toes. His albums covers are really bad too. I
mean, did you never see a Frank Frazetta cover on a Johnson album. And
what's he recorded lately? Nothing. My dad liked him alot, and I just hate
my dad. *I'LL* show you who won't amount anything dad!!!! *I'LL* show you
who should cut his hair and get a job down to the K-mart!!!! *I'LL* show you
ALL!
*************************************

But, I should count my blessings. This pinhead has obviously never heard of
a few of my favorite other bands besides BOC, and for that I am grateful.
Had he HEARD of King's X he would undoubtedly have picked apart one of their
songs that people have actually heard, probably "OVER MY HEAD" since it's
pointless to dangle loogies in the face of a song that people don't know,
let alone by a band that nobody knows. Not that I'm a hawkwind fan, mind you
(I'm not), but if the writer had heard any Hawkwind, you can probably bet
that a song of theirs would have made the top 50.

But anyway, that's my petty rant of the day. Ahhhhh (deep breath), I feel
much better now. I guess my point is just that you shouldn't give the entire
restaurant a bad rating just because you got didn't like one thing they had
on the menu. If you want to condemn a band and say "hey, these guys blow in
a big way", then just say it dammit. Don't say "Here is a shitty guitar
solo........... oh and the rest of this band's material sucks as well, so
there.".

Back to my lurking cave... and maybe that's not such a bad thing.

Torgo has left the building.......
***********************************************
DrTorgo at hotmail.com
http://welcome.to/torgos
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