OFF: off the rails

[M Holmes]

Richard Lockwood writes:

> Not wanting to be cynical here Gill, but when did a Virgin West Coast train
> ever travel at more than 23 mph anyway?  I've known London to Manchester
> take nearly twelve hours before now, due to "wrong kind of hamsters on the
> line" or somesuch.

Twelve hours? You were lucky.  When I 'ad t' get a Virgin train from
Liverpool, there were no 'eatin' despite t' winter and some of t'
carriages 'ad t' do without lights even though it were dark.  But we
were stoical in them days.  At least t' train were moving, even if it
were only walking speed.  Some of t' bogs were overflowin' too and a
river of piss were runnin down t' middle of t' carriage.  But we were
'appy because we knew that tiltin' trains were comin' and if we were on
a tiltin' train, we'd be gettin' our feet wet.

And you tell that to the youth of today and they won't believe you.

FoFP