Mark and Lard Alien Kidnap Shock!

[M Holmes]

Well, it's worth a shot...

---- Start of forwarded text ----
> From: M Holmes <fofp at holyrood.ed.ac.uk>
> Subject: Mark and Lard Alien Kidnap Shock!
> To: mark.radcliffe at bbc.co.uk

> Terran Times    12.23 BST  17/7/2003
>
> Today's surprise news is that famous radio personalities Mark Radcliffe
> and Boy Lard have been kidnapped by aliens.  Officials at Britain's new
> Space Centre near Manchester were stunned today to receive a message
> from a General Spiff of the planet Zarg.  The General stated that the
> BBC Two had been abducted and replaced by Pod People in accordance with
> the plans of the Alien Scout Fleet.  These plans call for a song "Silver
> Machine" by a beat combo known as "Hawkwind" to be played daily on the
> radio until the surrender of planet Earth or Extreme Ironing's
> acceptance as an Olympic sport, whichever happens first.  Apparently due
> to its distance from Earth and the speed of light, planet Zarg is
> currently enjoying Silver Machine's heyday as a chart hit from 1972 and
> Zargians describe it as "The best thing since sliced ptffgrdt!"
>
> General Spiff stated that if Zargian demands are met, the hapless duo
> would be released unharmed at the Hawkwind Festival near Blackpool in
> Early August.
>
>
> -- Yer 'umble correspondant: Disgusted From Tunbridge Wells.
>
---- End of forwarded text ----