(OFF) Cell Phone Ban In Cars, (USA) GOOOO FEDS!!!

Mike Holmes fofp at STAFFMAIL.ED.AC.UK
Thu Dec 15 05:29:59 EST 2011


On 14/12/2011 15:32, mike coleman wrote:

> and sorry, before I think about reaching for the med cabinet to
> counter the coffee and hunger, to be clear, the feds WANT to take away
> ALL electronic communications besides GPS or something. It is not
> necessarily going to happen.
> There was a (semi) trucker on saying that it IS fact for commercial
> drivers starting next year, and the he cannot even lift a phone to his
> ear for an emergency call.

Not so. Emergency calls are permitted. Mussing one's hair and requiring 
an instant hairdresser's appointment will not be regarded as an emergency.

> I expect the public to whine incessantly

You should try to convince them that there was actually a clause in the 
preamble to The Bill of Rights:

"The availability of organs for transplant being necessary to the 
commonweal the rights of travellers on the highway to occupy their tiny 
minds with geegaws instead of looking where they're going shall not be 
abridged"

Then everyone can argue instead about where the commas should be 
inserted (answers on a postcard to Sarah Palin, Bumfuck, Washington State).

> to the point that what really
> happens is these 16 year old girls (sorry) testing while on the
> highway is STOPPED. no that I have had a problem with THEM. I do
> battle with adults from the moment I leave my parking lot to the
> moment I get back to it.

You should meet my pal Geoff. He lost it and paddled on the other guy's 
bonnet (no doubt it's called something else in the YooEss but it's that 
bit sticking out the front of the car where the engine hides unless you 
have a Volkswagen, in which case it's in the boot, errr, trunk) with a 
baseball bat. Hmmmm that's weird. Geoff hates all sport with a vehemence 
normally reserved only for those who disrespect Anne Coulter. Why did he 
have a baseball bat in the car?

Wait a minute: why do they call it a trunk when it's at the back? The 
trunk on an elephant is pretty clearly at the front. Jeese. Yanks are 
just weird.

No. On second thoughts. Meeting him might be a bad idea at the moment. 
Best wait until Gingrinch is invested in The White House. I think Geoff 
will have calmed down a bit after Belgium has been nuked.

> they also want to raise the age for drivers permit to 18.

Not only will this mean that entire geneations of boys won't get laid 
until college, but an entire staple of Hollywood movies will vanish. 
Imagine "The Golden Years" where Kevin Arnold was taught to drive not by 
his father, but by some postgrad from his college fraternity. It hardly 
bears thinking about.

> I hate cell phones. They track you with them and share info about you
> with them and if google doesn't stop trying to get a mobile number
> from me I'll I'll.....

Fuck with their heads. Drive up and down outside Jodie Foster's house.

> close the curtains and go to sleep?

Don't imagine they're not tracking your dreams.

> Supposedly tracking devices are now being found on some people's cars.
> The trend happening in the USA must be stopped at the cost of many
> many human deaths, if necessary, IMHO

While I'm not normally opposed to the overthrow of the governnment, I 
think in this case the problem has already been solved by good old 
American ingenuity and inventiveness. In the future people will be able 
to play with their toys to their hearts content in the car, because 
Google will be driving:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google_driverless_car

If you think there's wailing and gnashing of teeth over not being able 
to watch NewTube in the car, just wait until they find out they'll never 
be permitted to drive again.

Meanwhile nature's balance will be restored and teenage boys will again 
be laid in "Last Summer" by impressing girls with the size of their 
fondleslabs.

FoFP










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