OFF: Re: The Perfect Day... NOT

[J Strobridge]

Jerry writes:
> >The Perfect Day
> >
> >According to.....
> >
> >HER

:THE REAL WORLD (tm)
:ME

> >08.45   Wake up to hugs & kisses
: Struggle to reach alarm before it disturbs anyone else

> >09.00   5 pounds lighter on the scales
:trip over scales on way to bathroom - why in heck did I leave them there
last night?   Faint memory of not being able to see the numbers clearly
after large quantities of alcohol

> >09.30   Light breakfast
:Mashed teabag with boiling water cooled by cold tap water and a couple
of whittybix before rushing off to work

> >11.00   Sunbathe
:Frantic bicycle through the rush-hour traffic mostly uphill in the
morning sun working up a fine sweat (sorry - perspiration) on the way.

> >12.00   Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
:carry-out chicken tikka sandwich eaten on the way back to work

> >01.30   Shopping
:rush into the supermarket to buy tomorrow's breakfast and tonight's
TV dinner.   Stand in a queue behind 15 space aliens who have no concept
of either English language or money.

> >02.30   Run into boyfriend's ex, notice she's gained thirty pounds
:and by hell does she look happy and relaxed.   Wonder why.

> >03.00   Facial, massage and nap
:Try to stay awake while checking endless data lists for errors - wish I
hadn't stayed so late in the pub last night - try splashing cold water
on face in the washhand basins in the ladies toilets.

> >07.30   Candlelit dinner for two and dancing
:Microwave dinner.  Watch the News and Panorama

> >10.00   Make love
:Put a video on.

> >11.00   Pillow talk in his big strong arms
:Fall asleep in front of the fire.  Dream on.........

:jill

ObApology> sorry - couldn't resist!
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J.D.Strobridge at ed.ac.uk                         eset08 at tattoo.ed.ac.uk
                                                ELIJSA at srv0.arts.ed.ac.uk

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