HW: What now?

[Christian000Mumford]

Strange Dream: Hawkwind as we know it (with Dave Brock) play a final
farewell concert on New Years eve 1999 with Lemmy making a guest
appearance, and Turner, Dettmar, Powell and the Pressurehed folks team up
with Chadwick/Tree/Richards upon the new year under the tried and tested
name of Hawkwind, after Doug Smith dies in an unspeakbly horrible freak
accident. Dave Brock steps in and becomes the evil spliff smoking manager
from the farm, maintaining the Hawkwind holographic VRML site, and making
holographic guest appearances with the band now and then, and usually
operating the synths telepathically. Nik Turner slips on a gigantic
(genetically altered) bananapeel and breaks both legs clean off (too much
smoking and not drinking enough milk), just two hours before the 40th
anniversary gig in 2009 on top of the EBS building in NYC (shaped in the
form of the LSD molecule), but shows up on an anti-grav floater and plays
solo sax for half an hour after the show. For the 50th anniversary gig in
2019, in front of a massive 6-D multimedia alien's cut showing of
Bladerunner projected onto our galaxy through wormholes operated by the
abducted Steven Hawking (having chemically altered his name to Steven
Hawkwind and revealing himself as the former human Steve Swann), Robert
Calvert is virtually recloned by a select crew of telepathic scientists
employed at Knut Gerwer's CalvertWorld in Florida, just in time for the
Spirit Of The Age encore. The backing morse code track for the performance
is in fact a radio pulse signalling the mindless Lords Of Chaos, contracted
by the eternally hell-boiling spirit Doug Smith, to rerelease Chumbawumba's
"Tubthumping" single as pure energy transmitted in to the mind of every
living being in the universe, being the ultimate plan of the Church of
Scientology. The by this time completely robotic Nik Turner/saxophone and
the digital ghost of Dave Brock fuse into one cosmic being known as TUBROK
THE ALTERER and suck the cosmic black hellsword from the otherdimensional
realm of Steve Hawkind, impaling the cosmic energy vampire Azathoth/Arioch
with the souls of 5 billion Hawkwind fans contained within it. In a massive
blaze of telepathic feedback the earth is scorched in a blaze of black
flames, wiping out all life on our planet, and TUBROK THE ALTERER is sucked
into a mirror universe for all eternity to fight himself. As Steve Swann
and the aliens arrive to take over, the resurrected Bob Calvert greets them
with a wry smile on his face and says "It all went as planned kids...and
Bob's yer uncle!", winking his third eye cleverly.

Chr.