BOC: Meltzer's review of OYFoOYK

[Bolts of Ungodly Vision]

FOr your plagarizing pleasure--

{italicized intro:)
Let's see what background do you need on THIS?
Bloom became the UNderbelly's singer, in the spring of 69, primarily 'cuz
he had a van, all paid up, and his predecessor's own van had been
repossessed; he also had a PA. His singing, however, didn't guarantee him
permanence, and one night a year later, while he slept, the band auditioned
me and Pearlman to replace him (neither of us panned out).  I'd already
sung with them, in a manner of speaking, running around yelling "PISS!"
onstage at the Cafe a Go Go (fall '67), sticking my head inside the bass
drum and unplugging patchcords while people soloed.  More importantly, I
served as their longtime nuse and author (till about'71) of the
preponderance of their lyrics.
        This has to be my earliest BOC peice that Pearlman had no hand in.
There'ed been probably five or six,, pseudonymous or not, where he stood in
the room and virtually dictated my copy -- to insure I didn't kill the
goose that might someday lay whatever. Sure I had an economic interest  in
their success, but I once had an artistic one too. (by 75 all I wanted was
my money.)
        Pearlman was big on covering the band's tracks, insisting the world would
end if even its former names were revealed. A classic rock paranoid, he
changed 'em from Soft White UNderbelly to the Stalk-Forrest Group (the
what??) when a West POint dropout, sone of one of Patton's generals, didn't
so much salg as ignore them -- "the less said, the better" -- in  a Voice
review of their Fillmore East appearance with Jethro Tull and Jeff Beck.
Having never done a rock review before, the guy didn't realize he need'nt
mention every band, but Pearlman took it hard--"Our name is mud in this
town."  Oaxaca, my suggestion, was an interim  name that didn't stick (they
were also breifly the Santos Sisters).
        In 1970 I introduced Patti to Pearlman, who beyond wanting to manage her
wanted her, and who brought her to the session where she met rhythm
guitarist/keyboardist Allan Lanier, with whom she would soon shack up.
"Carreer of Evil," her contribution to Secret Treaties. the third BOC
album, was the first forcible fusion of rock and Rimbaud.
        On each of  the early Columbia albs I had at least a lyric or two, but on
the one after On Your Feet, the mega-mega Agensts of Fortune (containing
their biggest hit "Don't Fear the Reaper"), they used NOTHING of mine; I'be
never known for sure if that was their doing or Pearlman's. I did later get
lucky with "burnin' for  you" (their only other  hit), but since I never
got my full payoff the luck was only relative. THough my best known lyric,
I wouldn't rank it with either "Teen Archer" (on Tyrrany and Mutation) or
"Arthur Comics," one side of the Elektra single which consitutes their
total vinyl output from before they went for the faux-nazi sturm und rang,
all the heavy-handed lazer baloney.
        I'm the dummy, by the way responsible for the umlaut over the "O"...
before Motorhead, before Motley Cure, before Queensryche. INotherwords, in
addition to my many National League batting titles, I also (in all
likelihood) introduced GRATUTITOUS USE OF THE UMLAUT to U.S. (possibly even
Anglo-U.S.) rock and rll. Love me or leave me!
        But was David Geffen head of Elektra in 75? And what Dylan was that,
PLanet Waves?
        Anyway this review didn't  run in the hich circulation glossy that
assigned it 'cause I fell down with the editor's girlfriend (while he was
boogyin' her roommate in Ensenada--oh, life!) and he found out.  So I gave
it for free to some jerkwater sheet with a circulation of six.


[Actual review coming when I clean my apartment. Ah the suspence]